Dutch star clairvoyant and cosmetologist Julie Haley has chosen you to receive the CristAnandaMagic, a crystal that contains the secret treasures of Ma Ananda Moyi, an Indian woman saint.
Of course, the CristAnandaMagic is the answer to everything. You will receive luck and happiness, financial independence, joy, love and physical wellbeing.
Fill in the Free Loan Certificate and return it to Julie within 48 hours. Oh, and pay between $72 and $153, depending on how long you want to borrow it for.
Julie’s powers abound. World Esoteric Control Centre managing director Alain Damouret claims Julie is the world’s greatest ultra-perceptive clairvoyant and a qualified parapsychologist. We cannot confirm that this organisation exists.
A month later, a second letter arrives from Alain Damouret. Julie has activated the Emergency 50 procedure because something very important is happening to you.
The story goes that Julie managed to obtain a fragment of the 2001 Genesis Space Probe that crashed on its return to earth in the Utah Desert in 2004.
The fragment has amazing powers so Julie cut it into nine pieces and is offering to loan it to specially selected persons so they can “benefit from enormous advantages in the areas of luck, money wins, unexpected and generous windfalls, true romantic love, friendship, physical good health and peace of mind”.
Julie is not charging her usual fee of $306 per hour; instead she wants $70 to $121 for up to 10 month’s loan of the fragment.
In her Charter, Julie promises:
Never to make a financial profit by whatever means;
Requests only a small contribution to cover the material cost of her work;
Strives to help the humble and downtrodden;
Tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth;
Respects her clients and will make no exaggerated claims;
Deals personally with every file and only deals with 12 clients per month.
Julie claims to have been awarded the Clairvoyant’s Golden Oscar in 2003 and the International Achievement Trophy in 2004. Oh please, at this rate she will win an Oscar for acting!
Fine print at the bottom of the certificate to be returned to Julie states:
“Julie Hayley is not a real person, but a trademark of ‘Calypso’ and the offer made is a commercial proposition.” Well surprise, surprise!